100 word challenge week 8
The Bonfire
"Yes!" I exclaimed, "We are finally at the annual family bonfire."
I caught sight of a white sign billowing in the wind. It said 'Family bonfire canceled due to complications. Thanks, Uncle Harry.' Why would the bonfire be canceled? It has always run no matter what. Suddenly a cloth covered my eyes. I squealed with surprise as I was being pushed forward. The cloth was ripped from my eyes just as my Mom sent a flame swimming towards the sky and all of my family yelled "Happy Birthday!"
Wait, why would my birthday be celebrated today? I thought it was tomorrow.
A strong opening sentence to grab the readers attention. Well done paying attention to correct punctuation. Also, some great adjectives to help tell the details of your story. Many of your sentences begin with 1,2 or 3 letter words, I wonder how you can change it for sentence variety.
ReplyDeleteI really like your choice of words. I think it was a creative way to grab the readers attention. It sure grabbed mine.:) There is really no feedback I could give you. All I can say is,WOW!
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